Spotting the goblin moving slowly through the heavy snowfall, the hunter draws an arrow from his quiver and pulls the bowstring tight.  The goblin is downed with a single shot.

 

As the hunter approaches his kill, he spots two figures approaching him.  He peers through the heavy weather to try to get a better look at the strangers.  His eyes are immediately drawn to the woman.  She too is a hunter, but unlike him the woman is dressed in tight leathers and is wearing absolutely nothing to protect herself from the cold.

Next to the woman stands a man whose body is almost completely covered in armour that has seen better days.  It's completely covered in dents and scratches, like the man has fallen off a dozen cliffs and survived.

Like the hunter, the armoured man is wearing a pirate hat and an eyepatch.

Rydan: "Do you know the way to the high pass?"

Yes, we've been playing The Lord of the Rings Online again.  We've got lifetime memberships which means we can come back to the game after months away and never have to resubscribe.  Our favourite characters are Keisywn, a hunter, and Rydan, a guardian.  (Although Dae keeps forgetting which class I am).

We've been exploring the Misty Mountains which as we all know were named after our pet cat.  It's a cold and snowy place, and also extremely dangerous in some places.  Most of the enemies are at a higher level than us, making them challenging opponents indeed.  Our recent misadventures have included:

• Posting signs in particularly dangerous places that say "Warning: Evil Men", "Warning: Evil Dwarves", and "Warning: Evil Giants" so that wayward travellers have a heads up.  The first two were placed in full sight of the evil people who must have thought something strange was going on.  The last sign was posted between two giants.
• Being chased by a giant mammoth that Dae accidentally fired an arrow at.  It trumpeted in anger and smashed me into the ground with its trunk.
• Riding around on horseback with a column of enemies running after us.

But I am most proud of our mission in the Giant Halls, a particularly lethal part of the mountains inhabited by extremely tough enemies.

Our quest was to retrieve a bar of gold that an evil dwarf had stolen.  We knew he was on top of a hill in the centre of the valley, but we didn't know that the hill was surrounded by giants and trolls.  Fighting a single one of these monsters is a brutal experience that we can barely survive if we give it everything we've got. But the valley has dozens of giants and trolls tramping around just looking for a couple of snacks on legs like us.  We arrived at the hill and found it absolutely covered in them.

Several tense and crazy minutes followed, in which we dived from tree to bush to snow-mound, sticking as close together as possible.  Around every corner we'd find a troll and scream like Homer Simpson in unison.  It was only with tremendous luck that we managed to scale that hill and survive.  Jumping up steep slopes like madmen also helped.

At the very top of the hill we found the dwarf.  Standing near him was both a giant AND a troll.  It would be next to impossible to get to the dwarf without them seeing us a well and beating our heads in.  I nicknamed the monsters Bub and Bob and knew what we had to do.

We'd come too far to give up now.  It wouldn't be the first or the last time we'd do something suicidal in the name of fun.  I led the charge towards the dwarf, thinking that running along the very edge of the cliff face gave us the best chance of avoid the attention of Bub and Bob.  Either way, maybe Dae could get to him while I was having my head kicked in.  I was a Guardian and it's a Guardians job to take the punishment instead of the rest of the group.

Half a second later, we screamed louder than ever before as the Dwarf AND the twins came at us at the same time.  There was nothing to do but fling ourselves off the cliff to get away from the bad guys.  We smashed into the ground not very far from each other and thankfully nowhere near any other monsters.

We immediately noticed that our weapons were still drawn.  That meant a monster was still coming after us.  The three of them were probably charging down the hill and would be flying around the corner any second.

But no!  It was the dwarf by himself!  We could easily kill him and take the gold from him!

But no!  The moment we finished him off we were informed that we could now take the bar of gold from his box.  Which was on the top of the hill.  Next to the giant and the troll.

What were we supposed to do?  It takes a few seconds to get boxes open and if you get distracted while opening a box, you have to start opening it over again.  And theres nothing more distracting than a couple of huge monsters chewing on you.

But maybe, just maybe there would be enough time to get the box open in time.  So there we were back at the top of the hill with Bub and Bob not ten feet away.  The next few seconds were especially painful.  Dae managed to get the box open and then dive off the cliff like Harrison Ford in the Fugitive.  Meanwhile the twins were taking turns seeing who could punch me the highest into the air.

What followed was a comedic sight for anyone watching.  I ran around a big rock on the middle of the hilltop, with the giant and the troll following me, shoulder to shoulder.  I sprinted back to the box and just got it open as a large fist was inserted into my forehead.  I fell tumbling down the cliff, a victorious smile on my broken face.