Last night I was drinking the japanese beer "iKi" at the bar in the top floor of the biggest japanese hotel in Amsterdam.  Wearing a black shirt and tie, underneath a black pinstripe waistcoat and suit, I was sipping my beer and looking out over the city at night.  I had a dutch girl to the left of me and a japanese girl to the right.  Very James Bond.

I was lucky enough to be a "+1" guest at a company dinner and this year it was japanese all the way.  After a while spent drinking at the bar it was time to eat and we travelled 23 floors down to get to the restaurant.

I had chosen the traditional menu because I desperately needed to be educated on japanese food.  After sipping some saké it was time to equip myself with chopsticks because the first course had arrived.

I'm completely useless with chopsticks as I possess zero dexterity with any part of my body.  (You should see me dancing, I'm like a puppet with half its strings cut.)  Nevertheless I was determined not to ask for a knife and fork, and try to eat the food the way it was supposed to be eaten.  I started using the chopsticks with quiet concentration but by the end of the meal I was too frustrated with them and ended up just spearing the food with a stick in either hand.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It turned out that the traditional menu is made up of two things.

1. Fish.
2. Vegetables that taste of fish.

Now I come from a fishing town and the love of fish is in my blood.  Cod is the king of fish.  But after three courses of traditional japanese food even my sweat smelled of fish.  I'd really had enough seafood.  It's a shame because the food was cooked to perfection and I don't like to waste food.

At this point I started concentrating on the red wine, which was unfortunately not japanese.  It also wasn't very good and was making me the wrong kind of drunk.

After a lobster dish in which the creature was staring at me, the dessert came and it really took me by surprise.  A bit of fruit, a bit of cake, and a bit of ice-cream.  Fantastic.

What wasn't fantastic was that even the dessert had a fishy aftertaste.  I can still taste it now, 14 hours later.

If I ever eat another fish it will be too soon...